Britney Spears Video Diaries To Be Released

Britney Spears has reportedly been filming herself for the past six months in the hopes that the footage will help the public understand “what she’s been through” in the last half year. Or maybe make her look even more batshit insane than already does. Can’t hurt, right? A source told Britain’s Daily Mirror

“Justin Timberlake and her ex-husband Kevin Federline are terrified the material will end up on the internet. Or, even worse, Britney will agree to another MTV documentary and release some of the footage through official channels.”

The source [added]: “Although some of the footage is really sad to watch, especially the parts where she is close to breakdown - others are dynamite. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it will be explosive.”

Unfortunately, pairing the name “Britney Spears” with the word “explosive” might be a mistake. Before 2003, the words “Britney Spears” and “explosive” might have meant “super sexy ratings lock,” but since her divorce from Federline, the only thing that comes to mind is “American Standard Champion” and “shopping bag fulll of laxatives.” Marketing execs might want to consider a less forcefully descriptive adjective if they decide to go public with the footage.