Britney Spears is getting ready to launch a new $100 million (that’s £50 million) world-wide comeback tour, according to The News Of The World.
Just recently – just yesterday, in fact - it seemed to all that, like Kurt Cobain and Vincent Van Gogh before her, Britney Spears had reached the end of the line. The feeling was she had nothing left to give - and that all she needed now was one small, gentle push into death’s eternal release. Ahh.
But, unlike like Kurt and Vince before her, she has seemingly decided that she actually does have something more to offer and that she is going to tour the world, giving it out for about $100 dollars a ticket!
To all of us who’ve once thought ‘what if Kurt hadn’t died?’ the remainder of Britney Spear's life will no doubt offer the answers we’re after. Maybe nothing, maybe everything, will be justified.
The singer/dancer is said to be in training to hit the road again, which perhaps puts an end to previous ‘Britney’s next step’ rumours, such as becoming a regular on a TV sitcom, or playing the role of a deep-south mental patient on stage, but who knows - perhaps she could do all three?
Imagine if Kurt survived! He may have ended up as a regular on Friends? As Phoebe’s new boyfriend, who doesn’t quite fit into the group because he’s ‘like, so serious?’ and when Chandler makes a sarky remark about Kurt’s uptight demeanor he just gets up and executes them all and then himself. If only he’d lived. Like Britney has been and is doing! Woop-woop!
A source tells the News Of The World:
"There will be no more on-stage blunders. Britney’s turned a corner and the world will be amazed with her. Things are looking up for Britney. She's finally focusing on her career again."
And the positivity doesn’t even stop there! Britney’s former manager, Larry Rudolph (sacked for trying to get her into rehab) has told Ryan Seacrest on his KISS FM radio show:
"I've seen her a few times over the past week or two. I've spent some time with her just socially. I've gone up to the house. I've sat with her. She's in great shape, I couldn't be happier to see the condition she's in. But this is not a time to talk about business with her. What she needs now is the public to be on her side and root for her, because she deserves it and that means a lot to her. I can't think of a situation where somebody's been set up for a bigger comeback than that girl."
Good for Britney Spears.
It seems all this attention we’ve been giving her is working after all. We told you we cared.
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